The Traveling Heels

What It Really Means to be Free | Bloggers United 3

I guess it’s a bit too late to greet everyone a Happy Independence day. In fact, I’m way behind schedule for a lot of posts since I’ve been out of the blogging radar for about 3 weeks now so here’s an Independence Day Nail Art to welcome myself back into the blogging world. It is of course, inspired by the Philippine flag.

I’ve been struggling with a lot of personal problems since the beginning of May and I’ve never felt lonelier. I thought that I could escape them by keeping myself extra-busy. But Instead, I got sick to the point that I had fever as high as 39.5 and I couldn’t find the strength to get out of bed. Proof that stress can indeed lead to sickness! :| Good thing I got well before the Supersale Bazaar & Bloggers United 3. I am very thankful to everyone who dropped by our booth to support us. (Grabbed random photos from the internet because I forgot to take photos! @_@)

All the sleepless nights from doing inventory and hours of standing up and entertaining inquiries was all worth it because I got to meet a lot of new and interesting people and of course, our very special readers! I’ve never experienced having a bazaar for 2 consecutive weeks so that really kept me distracted from the problem that I was trying to divert my attention from. And oh, did I mention, I was supposed to be a bridesmaid for a wedding on the same day as BU3? Obviously… I didn’t go. I love BU THIS much. :))

I’m also glad I made a new found becky friend, JP Singson! His family is such an inspiration to mine because we’ve never seen parents as supportive as his. I’m glad our booths were beside each other at the Supersale Bazaar because I would have gone nuts without a becky by my side for 5 days. I am such a fag hag. Haha!! We also found out that our dads knew each other since the 80’s and are both in the car industry. Small world, huh? XD

(word vomit and drama ahead)

After overcoming the busy week and Bloggers United 3, I realized that running away from a problem doesn’t free you from it. I found myself in an empty room with a heavy heart and a rattled mind. I was back to phase 1 and I had to face whatever I had to deal with prior to all the hulabaloo— I had to face my own emotions.

Earlier this year I talked about moving on with my life despite all the unanswered questions and ‘what ifs’ standing in my way. But one can’t just turn away from these things because they’re meant to be dealt with. Just because I act happy and bubbly all the time doesn’t mean I’m okay. And just because I’m single now doesn’t mean I’m free from the past. In fact, I’ve been living with the past for years now and recent events only made it worse so I found myself breaking down after weeks of pretending to be okay.

I know it wasn’t a wise decision to just go AWOL from blogging but it’s what I needed to get my mind off things. Most of the time I just stayed home and had loads of ‘me time’ so I could reflect on my mistakes. I know everything that I’ve been typing here sounds so vague but let’s just say I had to make a choice between reality and morality; the reality of finally getting the answer to my ‘what if’ VS my principles in life.

Aaah I sound so senseless but my point is, in order to be free from everything, you must face your problems because you can run all you want but your problems will always run faster than you. There’s also nothing wrong about taking a little time off because it could be your reset button to life. I’m glad I did because I feel much better now than I did a month ago and I’m ready to take on my backlogs which is a list longer than Rapunzel’s hair. Ow em. XD

My advice to those who are also in the process of healing themselves or recovering from a heartbreak or unrequited love: Stop thinking that he’s the one that got away. Instead, think of yourself as the one who got away.. From all of his mind games and drama. Always be the better person and walk away from someone who doesn’t treat you right. Every girl deserves to be loved and no arrogant a*hole is deserving of ours.

xoxo ;) (for the lack of a better ending)